Atok sebuah prequel

"Sekarang ni nak bernafas pun susah", keluh ku sambil mengurut dada perlahan terbongkok-bongkok menggeledah laci mencari ubat asma.

"Kenapa atok?" sampuk cucu ku sedang bermain susun-susun batu bukit yang diimport khas dari satu-satu nya hutan yang terjaga di Malaysia, Taman Negara Gua Musang. yelah sekarang ni dah 2073 nak cari batu, pasir, daun pon susah kalau ada pon mahal, biasalah bila keadaan macam ni adalah pihak yang mengambil kesempatan . Budak-budak zaman sekarang ni disuruh cari serai pun bertukar dengan lalang. Disuruh buat bunyi ayam keluarnya bunyi kucing.

"Udara sekarang ni tak berapa baik Iman, atok nak bernafas pon tak selesa."

Aku perhati je cucu aku ni sibuk benar dia, main dengan kembar dia, Aman, disusun batu batu tersebut selepas itu dipam nya air ke aras yang lebih tinggi dilalukan air ke saluran yang berbentuk S lalu menghempas batu-batu  yang sedia tersusun. Bersorak gembira mereka bila batu batu yang susun tadi berserakan dihempas air. Sempat si Iman menjeling kepada ku.

"Atok jadi kan Iman dan Aman buat air terjun Sunway Lagoon?" soalnya basah kuyup.

"Air terjun Sunway Lagoon wadehek?!" aku bermonolog sendirian sambil menggeleng kepala.

"Kalau Iman anak soleh tolong carikan ubat atok dekat laci sana, atok lupa"

"Kat dalam ni ke atok?" ditunjuknya laci game Xbox dan PS4 yang tersusun rapi koleksi peribadi vintage diriku, aku mengangguk tanda mengiyakan telatah budak kecil itu.

"Sebab Aman adik Aman merangkak dulu biar akak pijak belakang, akak tak sampai la nak cari level atas ni"

"Orait, nanti bila Aman dah rasa boring dengan kehidupan merangkak ni kita switch, ok?"

"Ok!" mereka sepakat.

Aku perhatikan sahaja lagak bahaya mereka berdua. Ada baiknya dibiarkan sahaja mereka hidup dalam keadaan mencabar sekali sekala.

Sedang Iman bertungkus lumus meraba-raba mencari ubat ku, dia terkuis sebuah buku lalu... Bam! bunyi buku itu jatuh ke bawah. Tiada siapa cedera jangan risau. Lalu tumpuan kami semua tepat pada buku tersebut. Aman membuka buku tersebut.

"Atok ni gambar siapa?" sambil membelek buku tersebut.

Aku pergi mendapatkan mereka.

"Oh ni album lama, zaman atok muda hepi hepi dengan member"

"Atok ini siapa?"

"Yang mana?"

"Yang ni lah..." ditunjuknya jari sambil memuncungkan mulut.

"Oh yang ni lah kawan atok masa atok kat Jordan dulu nama dia....." (bersambung)


p/s: zaman maju kemain simpan gambar dalam album lagi? kahkahkah

Bitter Truth

i copy this from my friend FB status, actually i do not have enough gut to share it on my own FB's wall because i know it will offend some of my friends here. hehe

Since i was 13, i started spending my life in hostel, far away from home, the place where family begins.

I spent 3 years in Islamic secondary school, 2 years in Islamic secondary boarding school, 3 months in preparation college, and now almost 5 years spent in Jordan.

Last week was like a dream. Mom, dad and my 2 younger siblings came to visit me. The feeling was the same like when i was in hostel a 5-9 years ago, when mom and dad came to pay me a visit after about 3-4 hours of driving from home. It's weekend, it's family time, after about 1 month talking with each other only through public phone.

And last week, they finally arrived here to look at the place where 5 years ago they've decided to send me to get my degree. It takes about 12 hours journey flight to come here, plus hours they have to spent during transit.

Dad, when i suggest for them to go to Turkey instead of coming here (because of many reasons), he refused. He said he just want to see the place where i spent my 5 years, not to be a real tourist who visit a nice place. I said okay then.

They came, and today was the last day, and they've already in flight now, going back home. May they arrive safely insyaAllah.

Today, dad said something to me at the airport "come back early to Malaysia, here is not the place to live your life."

I know why, i just smiled.

I frankly when my family walks on the university street, feel very insecure. People started to laugh, to humiliate, to call us chinese whatsoever, to speak in stupid language that they themselves wouldn't understand, and do things that they themselves wouldn't want to be done to their mom, dad and family.

Last month, my sister was busy applying for scholarship to further her studies overseas. At that time, i would never feel reluctant to say no to her if ever she was thinking to choose here as her place for studying.

I would never allow. I would never let them feel the way i feel, the insecurity, the harm, the humiliation, the disrespect i got, and everything that is inappropriate to be done to a human being, especially being done by a Muslim, to other Muslim.

I can look after myself, it's okay that i'm alone here in this foreign place. But i would say no to my sister, or even to my family if they ever wants to come here again, alone. It's not because they are weak, but it's because i love them so much, that i wouldn't take a chance for anything bad being done to them.

I hate seing them being humiliated. I hate seing people lied to them. You can do this to me, but not my family.

Urgh, i'm done. I wanna go home. insyaAllah.

Thanks mom and dad, for coming. It's a precious present for my graduation. Alhamdulillah.

*But i would never deny that there's always good people and bad people in anyway u go. Bad people is bad, and good people is good. No generalisation should be made, dear self.

p/s: aku dah penat <---- tekan sini.

Penantian Satu Penyiksaan

untuk yang buat comeback berblogging

Kalo korang  tak sempat tengok bola seluruh match 2 jam, korang tengok video 15 minit je pasal game tu. Dia tunjuk la gol, peluang-peluang keemasan, smart save daripada keeper, controversial point dari match tu dan lain-lain. Yang video 15 minit tu org panggil highlight. Yang kat bawah ni highlight study aku kt jordan selepas 5 tahun tak tulis pape.(copy paste)

bangun tido "shit dah lewat!" kau siap cepat-cepat ambil yang wajib je, gosok gigi dan sapu taik mata contohnya, mandi tu dibolehkan untuk tidak mandi nanti aku  cerita sebab apa kat bawah nanti.

lepas tu guna kemahiran matematik kau yang berkarat tu darab bahagi janjang pembezaan pon boleh untuk kira berapa minit masa yang diambil untuk sampai ke universiti. Dapat result "ok teksi!" sebab ada 30 minit lagi untuk start kelas campur jadual doktor yang strict pada hari tersebut. Habis duit melayang.

Sampai kat gate, kau bayar teksi jeling dompet kertas warna oren, hah betullah tu harga dia, mana ada masa nak belek-belek perhati betul-betul duit kertas tu. hempas pintu teksi; pemandu teksi sumpah seranah kau sebab kurang ajar tapi kau peduli apa.

Berlari ke dewan kuliah, semasa berlari tu pastikan henset atau buku nota yang kau baca dalam teksi tadi tak tertinggal, ok semua selamat. Kau masuk dalam dewan, kau tolak pintu "kriukkk" bunyinya kuat, dalam hati kau cakap "shit!" semua orang orang pandang kau. Doktor baru nak start mengajar dia tunjuk isyarat supaya ambil tempat duduk. Pergh! lega kejap.

Kau duduk tempat kosong sebelah member kau yang kau kenal biasa biasa je, lepas je kau letak beg bau busuk semerbak, dalam hati kau cakap "haram dia ni tak mandi". Tapi tapelah sebab kau pun buat benda sama harung je. 

Awal 10 minit kau bagi sepenuh perhatian lepas tu kau redha dengan ketentuan Ilahi, sedar-sedar doktor dah abis mengajar dan dia blah tanpa amik kedatangan. 

Dalam hati kau cakap "B*b*!"

then the cycle repeat itself...